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baekhyun + taeyeon (a personal opinion) 
20th-Jun-2014 06:13 pm
(i would just like to let out all my feelings regarding this issue. everything written here is based on my personal opinion, and isn't supposed to be taken as an objective view.)

it was an afternoon wherein our internet connection was being absolutely shitty and i got a text from a dear friend of mine telling me that baekhyun and taeyeon are now a thing. i couldn't open the article immediately since the connection was unstable, but i was delighted. i was happy. but then came evening, i opened twitter and saw fandom drama yet again. innocent oreos were being crushed for some sort of representation and symbolism of their broken hearts and their own form of rebellion. fans were on the verge of leaving the fandom, with some directing so much hate to either taeyeon or baekhyun or just pent up emotions from the past events. and i guess i needed to let my opinion out.

first of all, they are just humans. they have emotions, they have feelings, just like us. idols aren't robots, even with the fact that they seem nearly perfect with the layers of make-up and the stage lights. they have the freewill to get attracted to other human beings, just like us. i know that they try their utmost best to make us feel wanted, to give us happiness, and to be in a position where the fans are the priority because us fans are the ones who can make them strive better. but they aren't programmed to do things for our own satisfaction, they make a few mistakes here and there and it's not like they think about what matters to us every single second of their lives. they can't please everyone, just like any human being.

they made us happy, shouldn't we let them be happy too? they make a fool of themselves on variety shows to make us laugh. they practice day and night for their performances to make us proud. they film all sorts of interviews and shows to able to connect with us and reveal a piece of themselves for us. they do all these things for us, no matter how sleep-deprived they are, no matter how tired they are. i think it's fair that we let them do what they want because they have done so much for us ever since. don't make them apologize for falling in love with someone else other than yourself. i honestly don't see why a person should be sorry for being with someone who doesn't belong to anyone else in the first place.

but some are hurt, i get it, i really do -- so just cry it out. it hurts because you loved them so much and it's hard to let them go. it hurts because it's hard to see them so happy without us fans in the picture. it hurts because the gifts you gave to him with your heart on the line, he might just end up giving it to her in the end. as opposed to this, it wouldn't probably hurt as much if he shares the gifts with the other members, with other boys from other groups. but it would hurt if he shares it with a girl, wouldn't it? that's because you thought he belonged to us. our affection just skyrocketed enough to build this perception that he's ours to begin with, we built this expectation that he will be strong enough to handle the hard times just by knowing that we're here for him. it's almost as if the fans aren't good enough for all the support we give. we felt so small, unappreciated, and even replaced -- and it does fucking hurt if you think about it that way. but sometimes we aren't strong to enough to lift the ones who we've been supporting from afar, with our voices unheard and our feelings unknown. so just cry it out -- it isn't immature to cry about people who don't know us, it's just that sometimes we need a release. we can be bitter, we can be butthurt, but talking shit about idols and making them feel bad isn't gonna make us feel any better. this can make us feel stronger, trust me.

despite all the drama, others think that this is just another sm publicity stunt. maybe it will make the fans forget about the previous issue which involves a member leaving and a lawsuit, but the only thing for sure is we do not know the truth. no matter how many assumptions we make and how much evidence supports those said theories, we are nowhere near the truth. the best thing we could do is to hope that all the rumors aren't as bad as they seem in reality. who knows, it might be fake or they might really be in love? don't be swayed by hearsay so easily.

because of all the things that has happened, some are leaving the fandom. let me just put it out here that i have left the fandom and came back pre-overdose era. i left because i thought i could invest my time in other interests other than kpop, but i still came back in the end knowing that these boys and being part of a fandom are the things that can truly make me happy. leaving a fandom just because of the shitty events is like breaking up with someone because of a petty argument. it's too abrupt. the "jonghyun and sekyung" dating issue has left a big impact on me as a fan when i was a hardcore shawol. i didn't leave because of that, i drifted away from them when my otp has sunken down. i was tired of the forced concepts and i was too distracted by other interests, which eventually degraded my shawol status to a casual shinee listener. so in this fandom, stay for a while, and when it gets too tiresome and it converts the good vibes to bad vibes, then that's the time to give up. and when you do leave, don't say shit about the fandom. don't bear grudges against anyone or any event, just leave in peace.

being in a fandom is tiresome, but rewarding in a way. normal people who aren't part of any sort of fandom wouldn't understand this, but to be in a fandom is to be emotionally attached to people who are out of our grasp. we invest our time and our feelings just for these boys, we get sleep-deprived, our wallets go empty, and we make all sorts of sacrifices even though they don't know our existence as a person. we're just part of the collective group they never forget to mention: fans. but we still love them even though they don't know us. why? because it makes us happy, it bring a sense of fulfillment to be able to connect with them in any way possible. it brings us to tears just to see them winning an award because we know that one way or another, they made it that far because of our support, no matter how tiny the effort is. being in a fandom is indeed hard, but nevertheless, it makes me happy. and for me, that is more than enough.
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